My Story

I was inspired from a young age to connect with and nurture children - babysitter, camp counselor, professional nanny, doula, masters education in developmental & birth psychology
Needed to pause completing my masters degree while falling in love because I got pregnant!
I was super excited! identical twin boys!! ??
I truly always dreamed of having twins
At 8 months pregnant I was measuring 43 weeks!
A check-in with my OB on the Friday before a big family baby shower planned on the weekend
I was so happy and excited. I felt great!

Never in a thousand years would I have imagined what was going to happen next...

At the end of that doctors appointment was a quick heart check and...then.... a reroute for a second look at the hospital for???? me sitting there alone in a hospital room hearing the news that there were NO HEART BEATS and my babies were dead!
I rushed home driving in shock calling my midwife, partner, best friend, aunt....
canceled a baby shower....
and was whirl-winded into a series of considerations and conversations about: how to give birth, autopsy or not, death rites, funeral arrangements, cremation or burial, etc...
took a couple of days to get mentally and physically
prepared for birth in the midst of shock and explosions of grief
I fit in one more visit with my fetal specialist confirming the cause of death as ACUTE TWIN to TWIN TRANSFUSION
And off I went to the hospital to birth my dead babies.
They started me on a cervical softener that cascaded a series of painful interventions - pitocin, pain medications, epidural, other injections
Simultaneously fielding hospital staff personalities and intrusions
Finally giving birth vaginally, having an adhered placenta ripped off my uterine wall, having a ritual with my babies, and then putting them in boxes and having them taken to the morgue
Going home that night and then the long journey of recovery.
No resources, no referrals

Regardless of my previous training, I WAS LOST IN TRAUMA


  • NO REFERRALS were provided (psychological or physical healing) by midwife nor OBGYN nor hospital
  • Did NOT know how to access resources ~ especially while in the throws of coping with trauma
  • partner and family had no idea how to relate to me and were in shock themselves
  • friends were reaching out and I had no idea how to discern what I needed and how to ask for and receive the support I did so desperately need and they longed to provide for me
I returned to school and completed my masters degree by writing about all the forms of reproduction and birth trauma and their somatic and psychological sequela.

I am committed to helping women to get the support they need to fully heal from reproductive & birth trauma aka Mama Trauma